Lead me O God
I do not know this way
It has been proved to me o’er and o’er
For when I have set my faith’
my heart
my face
like flint to seek you
to go on further still
even further than ever before
I’ve been surprised by opposition
strange and unexpected resistance
as though an enemy fears that I should enter in
to such a place of abandonment with thee
Or is it you who tests my commitment
and through such circumstance say to me
“Are you truly committed to my way my son?
Will you indeed no longer turn my glory into shame?
Will you indeed stand upright in this exalted place ?
Or will you allow yourself to be talked down once again?
I know not O god
thou knowest
My heart has been so changeable
you alone have proved faithful
But this I have
that I know that I am blind
and that you alone can lead me in this way
Thou who at once dwellest in the midst of the thick darkness
and in the light that is unapproachable
lead me on
For you have said Who is blind as my servant?
Is it that I have been so immersed in my weakness and my blindness
that I have a confidence that this shall be no work of my own
but only of thy grace and mercy
not any of my might or power
nor any of my willing
but a feeling after thee
who is in in me
both to will and to do
What is this strange confidence
where before there has only been failure
Was my utter failure
again and again....
...was my falling......
preparatory to my rising again?
Is it through my profound imperfection
that I now find your perfection
Is it the knowledge of my own weakness
that now helps me find this strength
Is it my own profound blindness through which I now see such glory?
After so great a death-
whence come this overflow of abundant life?
Did vanity and emptiness alone prepare me
for such wealth of spirit?
What now can I do in this place high above all rule and authority
This place you said you had prepared for me
that you promised to come and bring me to
Seated together in heavenly places I rest
Work your work
My works shall follow
I will be still praising you
...that they might go, and fall backward,
and be broken, and snared, and taken.
Isaiah 28.13
